P.S.

Soon after I published the last post I started sneezing and developing an earache, and I'm actually now feeling quite ill. I'm a bit under-the-weather this week and that might partly explain why what I wrote earlier was so bad-tempered. I still feel the same way about Zoe Williams' article, but maybe calling the post 'Do shut up, Zoe' was a bit excessive. With this in mind, I would like to say a very small sorry for that bit.

Sorry.

Do shut up, Zoe

There was an incredibly irritating article by Zoe Williams in The Guardian today, arguing that 21st century cinema is trash, whereas television drama is mature and courageous. I feel moved to present my objections one by one:

1. She's not making an even-handed comparison. She's comparing clever TV shows like The Wire to big budget silly blockbusters like Confessions of a Shopaholic. If she'd compared Mad Men and The Sopranos and Six Feet Under to The Lives of Others and The Reader and Away From Her, she might have been able to make a more interesting argument, even though of course she would have been wrong, because cinema and TV are equally capable of producing diamonds or shit.
   
2. And to elaborate on that point, let's have a look at some of the ratings 'success stories' of British TV: Deal or No Deal, Coronation Street, Holby City... I love television and I don't think there's anything wrong with enjoying a funny episode of Come Dine With Me or the EastEnders Christmas special, but let's not delude ourselves that the channels are packed with intellectual, challenging viewing options - a lot of it's just silly entertainment (and the same goes for cinema). You have to look quite hard to find all that 'emotional complexity and political texture' she talks about.
3. My final point is a small one. Zoe says, 'Changing cinematic presentations of women have been very well documented - we seem, as a gender, to have been getting stupider since about the mid-90s... on the big screen you have heroines such as the "journalist" in Confessions of a Shopaholic, the "lawyer" in Legally Blonde(s), the "lawyer" (again) in Sex and the City (the movie) - all putatively demanding careers, undertaken by people so thick they can't understand basic words.' I know Zoe likes to pass herself off as a leading feminist, but I think she's called it wrong in the case of Sex and the City. The lawyer character - Miranda - is clever and hard-working and serious. If you've watched it, you can't reasonably compare her to Legally Blonde. Also, the character originates in the TV show, which Zoe later goes on to praise. Here's a writerly tip for you, Zoe: it's always a good idea to read something through and check for consistency before you email it off to be published.
   

Sorry that I've got on my high horse for this one. As a freelance journalist who has to pitch for work, I find it irritating that such a nonsensical, ill-considered idea for an article gets commissioned just because it has the name 'Zoe Williams' on it. If she was unknown, she would never in a million years have got this published - and quite right too.

My new life in the wild west

I have a shocking and upsetting announcement to make: I'm moving to the countryside for a month.

When I say "moving to the countryside", I mean that I am moving to a western suburb of Greater London. I am moving approximately twenty minutes further away from Soho. This is not a move I anticipated making voluntarily.

The reason for this uncharacteristic decision is that my parents are going travelling for a month and someone has to feed the cat, Minty. There was talk of moving Minty to my sister's flat, but she's getting old and is showing signs of decline - she's losing weight and has started (occasionally) pooing on the carpet, much like an elderly relative with dementia (what, other people's relatives don't poo on the carpet?). Sigh. It's very sad. So I will be spending the next month mostly sitting on trains and cleaning up poo. But it will be worth it for the quality time I will get with Minty, the two of us sitting on the sofa, her moulting, me having a vodka and tonic, while watching America's Next Top Model (Minty loves Jay Manuel).

I'm sort of excited about it, in a perverse way. There's a little high street with nice pubs and shops. It's like living in a village, except better because it's London and nobody knows or cares who you are. And the house is big and I can pretend it's mine. I can play the piano (badly) and abuse the Sky Plus and run up the phone bill. Maybe I'll write a novel. No, I probably won't write a novel, that's ridiculous.

This morning I've been gazing at The Book Cover Archive - an online catalogue of beautiful books. It's very diverting. Only yesterday, Sandeep agreed to lend me The Worst Thing A Suburban Girl Could Imagine, after I caught sight of the cover and decided it would be a really good read.


A cover should give you an instant idea of what kind of book it is, and who's going to enjoy it. If the cover is doing its job, you should be able to use it to judge the book. So there. I'm championing snap judgements.

Ruffers, Ol' Big Mouth, Goop and the gang

I've had the last week off, and I've had a thoroughly lovely time. I've been eating lots, socialising a bit and watching loads of films (and some Mad Men and some ER, but I won't get started on those again). Below is a list of what I've seen, and I think it shows that I am an equal opportunities viewer: I don't just limit myself to great films - I also watch (nay, enjoy) quite a lot of crap. And on that note...

1. Just Like Heaven - I'm going to grasp the nettle and boldly confess something: I hired this from LoveFilm. Yes that's right, I paid to watch a movie in which Reese Witherspoon goes into a coma, becomes a ghost, and haunts the man who's subletting her apartment until they - unpredictably! - fall in love. I did it because I needed a quick hit of Mark Ruffalo (who Sandeep has dubbed 'Ruffers'), and I'd do it again, I tell you.

2. Vicky Cristina Barcelona - I've already rattled on about this in a previous post, but I went to see it again last week. That's because (a) I quite like seeing things twice, (b) it was showing at a convenient time and I really wanted to go to the cinema, and (c) Woody Allen films feel like comfy pyjamas to me. Always nice to get into.

3. The Devil Wears Prada - apparently most of Britain watched this on Channel 4 last week, because I got a lot of messages afterwards saying that I look a bit like Anne Hathaway, or as I like to call her, Ol' Big Mouth.

4. Two Lovers - I went to a preview screening of this but I really, really recommend you see it when it's released next month. It's moving and thought-provoking, and Joaquin Phoenix is just an exceptional actor. Even Goop Paltrow is good, and Vinessa Shaw is so beautiful. Here's the trailer (sorry it's too wide for the blog. Not sure what I can do about that):




5. Friends With Money - Yeah, that indie film that Jennifer Aniston did, that nobody went to see. I actually caught the beginning of this one afternoon on TV, and was gripped enough to record the rest, so that says something I think. The cast are very good - Joan Cusack, Frances McDormand and Catherine Keener are all favourites of mine - and although the film wasn't very successful, I found it quite a sensitive, thoughtful examination of married life. And not much happened, and I like those sorts of films.

6. Revolutionary Road - I was warned that it was crap before I went, but I didn't agree at all. It's so, so bleak, but very powerful. It made me think about the choices we make, and the extent to which we control our own happiness. Definitely worth seeing, although maybe not if you're feeling trapped in your life. Don't lean too close to the abyss.

7. Frost/Nixon - Again, wonderful. I've never seen Michael Sheen in anything before, and I found him so watchable. He's capable of making you laugh with the subtlest facial expression or mannerism - and he's just as good at expressing anxiety, inadequacy, disappointment. Frank Langella was amazing as well - so determined and so sad as Richard Nixon. If you could measure entertainment, I think Frost/Nixon would work out as excellent value for money. Go and see it.

8. Sex and the City: The Movie - I can't think of anything to say about this. I'm a girl and I reserve the right to enjoy Sex and the City, even if a lot of it is ludicrous.

So there you go. I have to say it's been a really happy week, and I'm going to try to watch lots of movies this year. Let me know what you've seen recently, and what you thought of the above.

I have something 'funny' to show you

I don't want this blog to turn into a round-up of things I've pinched from other people on social networking sites, so I promise to write a proper post about something non-social-networking-related very soon.

However. The comedian Peter Serafinowicz (forever beloved to me for his performance as Duane Benzie in Spaced) today twittered a link to this website: The "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks. I was very happy that someone (apparently someone called Bethany Keeley) had taken the time to document this weird phenomenon, which is infecting shop notices the world over, like some sort of virus that kills off meaning and sense.

It reminded me of a sign that used to be in the window of a pub in Edinburgh, which I think said:

"Toilets" are for customer use only

If your bathroom facilities need inverted commas, I don't think I want to use them anyway, thanks.

To finish off, I really wanted to post the very funny montage clip of Tim and Duane from Spaced. But Youtube has let me down - it's nowhere to be found. Just take a moment now to imagine the chuckles you could have had, and curse the universe for depriving you of them. Bah.

Sooty? Sweep? Sue? Sweep? Sue? Sooty?

A friend just posted this on Facebook. I used to love The Sooty Show. Is it just me though, or is that screaming animation with dubbed sound a bit eerie? Every time they repeat it, the programme feels more and more like a weird video installation in a gallery. Anyway, enjoy.

Bit of culture, innit

As I said once before, I really love the Poems on the Underground scheme. Tonight on my way home I saw this one, and liked it a lot. It's by Jacques Prévert, and you can read the original French version here (Daisy, I expect you to tell me if it's a bad translation).

Alicante

An orange on the table
Your dress on the rug
And you in my bed
Sweet present of the present
Cool of the night
Warmth of my life

Test: do you know who Mark Ruffalo is? Because you should.

Here's a trivial but pesky fact: if you know me in real life, and are not related to me by blood, you probably suspect that I fancy you. I am always being accused of being interested in colleagues etc, so I can only conclude that I give off some sort of very friendly vibe. So I want to set the record straight: I'm just friendly. I like chatting and joking and teasing. That's all there is to it. I rarely fancy anyone, so statistically I probably don't fancy you, unless you are Mark Ruffalo (swoon) or Joaquin Phoenix before he grew all that hair*, in which case please leave a comment or something.

*or Luke Wilson or Robert Pattinson or George Clooney or Jake Gyllenhaal or Marlon Brando circa 1951. Or Penelope Cruz (because I'm a human being and she's amazing). Ooh, this is fun. Who do YOU fancy? And American readers, please don't make fun of me for saying "fancy".

P.S. Sorry this is such a silly post. I've eaten a lot of chocolate this morning and I think I may be experiencing some sort of high-blood-sugar-induced delirium.

Mainly Twitter, but also a small koala.

Ooh, that was the most interesting poll yet, from my perspective. Nay kept inching ahead, but in the end Yay stole it with 19 votes to 17. Almost all of my real-life friends said Nay to Twitter, but then that's what you get when you are the biggest geek in your friendship group. I think they're wrong, actually, and I'll explain why.

It's taken me a few days to get my head round Twitter. At first I approached it as a series of Facebook status updates - little silly thoughts about my day or whatever. And I looked round, and a lot of other users are going with that interpretation - and some of them are funny and interesting enough to make it work, and most of them aren't. But since Twitter doesn't really work on a system of having 'friends', it all started to look a bit pointless. Especially since I'm already on Facebook and can keep in touch with people perfectly well using that.

But then I looked at this, which slightly changed my perspective. The benefit of Twitter is that it isn't just about finding out what your friends are up to - it's actually a way of finding all kinds of news as soon as it breaks, and communicating directly with people who aren't necessarily your friends but who have something interesting to say. You don't have to plough through their interests and their photos and their friends - all you see is what they say, and it's easy to start or stop following them. It also somehow seems more acceptable to stop following someone on Twitter than to defriend them on Facebook - there might be someone on there that you love to hear from, but if their tweets are primarily about their work, it's perfectly reasonable for you to stop following them. And you can still dip in and out to see what they're up to - most people's profiles aren't private.

As a blogger I think Twitter is also a useful way of communicating with more people, and I know a lot of lovely Twitterers have visited this blog over the last week, which is great. The concept feels to me like the perfect combination of sophisticated and simple: it's sophisticated in the way it connects you directly to a huge number of people, and simple in the sense that it cuts out all the extra noise of other networking sites, so that you can focus in on the conversations that interest you. Somehow it feels both more and less personal than Facebook.

There are also auxiliary sites that help you get more out of Twitter, depending on what you want. I like Twitscoop, which tells you which words are being used the most in Tweets at the current time. This is how I found out about the recording of Christian Bale shouting, before it hit the news. And if there's one thing I love, it's being first with the gossip.

So there you go: I'm sticking with it for now. I don't think my updates have been great so far, but I'm still getting the hang of it, and I hope to get better at it. You should keep an eye on me. And if you're on there, please leave a comment and your Twitter name on this blog so I can check you out.

And now, for the animal fans, here is a picture of a koala. There's a heatwave in Adelaide, and it went into someone's garage to cool down, and took a bath in a bucket of water. I don't know why I'm finishing on this note, except that I thought the Twitter chat might be a bit dry. I'm rambling now. I'll stop.